Lesson #1

Be Your Own Best Friend

I’m sure this isn’t the first time you’ve heard this. Heck – chances are you’ve already mastered it and I’m just catching up. That would be very on brand for me. But – in the off-chance you haven’t – let’s unpack it for a minute…

Now, to be fair, there are a lot of components to this (rabbit holes, if you will). And…there are some serious logistics to be mastered if you are going to truly put yourself first when you have so many other responsibilities. That’s a whole thing that we’ll dig into sometime. But what we’re going to do today is step back and look at this differently. Stay with me.

I would consider myself a pretty confident person, not overly so, you know…plagued by the usual self doubt. But I have often (more than I’d care to admit) talked myself out of a LOT of different things I’ve wanted to do. I’m not good enough, there are already so many people doing that, what do I have to offer….etc…all silent attacks holding me back from pursuing interests and dreams for fear of failure or judgement.

Think about all the people you love – your friends, your family, kids maybe, the doggies!? How do you talk to them when they’re having a bad day? When they’re nervous, when they’re scared, when they’re insecure. Do you list all the reasons they should be sad or nervous or scared or insecure? No. You praise them, you comfort, you lay out their accomplishments, you reassure – you love.

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I have a close friend that was going through a hard time. Several challenges stacked up, one after the other. She was applying for jobs and not landing an interview, then interviewing and not landing the job. She has loads of experience. I had personally witnessed her quality of work, the praise she’d received….this was not a her problem. So I comforted, I reassured…and she dismissed it. Then I said, “What would you say to me if the situation were reversed, would you tell me I was unworthy of the job?”

And that’s where it hit me…I realized I was just as guilty as her. I would be doing the same thing in her shoes…I would be convinced it was me, that I wasn’t good enough or worthy. I’ve talked myself out of taking the chance so many times, convinced someone is already doing the thing, and probably better.

But…that’s not what I said to her. That’s not what I would say to anyone. I would tell them they’re amazing, I’d tell them to take the leap, and I would mean it. I would offer plenty of unsolicited (and unqualified 😆) help. I’d be their hype man. I’d have no doubt in their success. And conversely, if they failed, I would think no less of them, rather, I would be so proud that they were brave enough to try.

So, I’m here to tell you – BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND. When the doubt creeps in, interrupt your thoughts – literally stop your thoughts – imagine how you’d comfort your best friend, and give nothing short of that to yourself. Please try it – and please notice how different you feel. Reprogram your brain – I promise you it will start bleeding into everything else you do…and it will be contagious. The lesson sticks when you actually try it, and you realize how capable you are of managing and growing your own happiness.

🫶 Ashley

Be your own best friend – you deserve it ❤️